Lost Count...

OK OK OK...ENOUGH ALREADY!!!
I have lost count it hit 35 and I have stopped counting. It hurts to dang much....
So I have now been faced with the Task of living....yikes.
My Heart and my head can not take much more, I am just not thriving well, at all, in fact; I am not sure how I am going to make it, or be strong enough. I still have some little shread of hope for a future. Psalm 6, I have read it over and over and over again, Also, Proverbs 23 something. "Surely you will have a future, your hope will not be cut off". My heart has to many burdens, the head aches litterally are becoming more frequent, and more violent, as the stress levels are rising, so is my blood pressure, heart rate. I am having difficulties eating, I just don't want to eat, or when I do, I just can't eat much at all.
This is what infertilty is trying to deal with life on its own and then dealing with your worst fears on top of that.
HOW LONG OH LORD, HOW LONG???