ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH!!!

I have had enough, enough struggles, enough pain, enough sorrow, enough.
Give me some Dam Happiness!!!
3 this week, that I have found out that they are pregnant, 4 baby's born this week. When is it my turn. I have begged, pleaded, tried to play content, lived, worked and cared for my house, have have 2 empty rooms, a very broken heart. I don't know just how much more I can take. Life does not look that Appealing when everything that you have wanted in life is happening to everyone else, and not me.
Call me selfish, I don't give a shit. I am suppose to be happy, But I am not. I fake it, pretending to be interested. If I could fly to the moon, so I did not have to see anyone, I do not have to have sex. I hate pretending to be happy and the Bawling my eyes out for hours at a time. , I know parenthood is not perfect, and i want the imperfection. I want that craziness...life is to dam perfect, we have the house, and marriage and the family, we got it all.....But one thing.
I am mad.
Mad at God, mad at me for being fat, mad at the world.
Mad at Satan. Furious that I feel the way I feel.
Waiting......waiting......waiting......Dying.....dying......dying.........When is enough, enough.....