Moving forward

Well the journey continues. My mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on Dec.11 2008. We have begun a journey that we are not really ready to take. We are all nervous and scared about all the procedures and possible treatments. I have offically arrived in Calgary for Christmas holidays, but mine will be extended as I am going to be caring for my mom during her recovery from a mastecomy. It is my turn to take care of my mom.
I think I am still some what in the state of denial that this is real and is really happening to us, and my mom. I just want to wake up one morning and the thoughts of my reality be gone.
Me and Buddy will be spending more time in Alberta then I have in 6 years. The hardest part I think will be being away from my husband for an extended period of time. I really just want to go home after our holiday, but that is not possible. I have a responsablity to care and be there for my mom, and brothers. I also feel it is not out of responsiablity that I am doing this. But my mom and me have so much to discover about each other and God has blessed us with the oppertunity to do this. We have the time to talk about everything, and just be best friends. Exactly what a mother and daughter are to be come. My mom and I have grown much closer over the last few years, and I am excited to develope that more. We are moving forward into tomorrow. Unpacking my suitcase and putting it away in the cupboard made it hit home, I am staying here and my husband and i will have to go back to phone calls and internet chats. We have done it before and so we can do it again. God has a plan for me and my mom, I wish I knew what it is. However, I must lay this all in God's hands. I can not put my mom between God and me, but see this situation as a lesson that God is teaching me, that I have something that I must learn, or prepare for. Perhaps God did not give us a child yet because he knew that my mom will battle cancer, and that she needs me to be here for her, and I need to be here for whatever reason. Perhaps it is to take the time to enjoy life and get to know my brothers a little more, and to spend time with my mom that I otherwise would not be able to do. I must look at this from a positive rather than a negative and it will be much easier to handle everyday.
So, hence forth, I must keep going and relying on my God for my Strength. I must be able to lean on him and not myself and others to get me through, although I know that God has providing friends and family that are praying for us and supporting us. It is Him that my true strength comes from.
Moving Forward.