Recently I have heard someone say about God, when you are talking to him.
"DO NOT DEMAND TO UNDERSTAND"
In my life lately nothing seems to make sense, nothing really seems to be fitting into place.
Things I have dreamed about for years as a child, are at my finger tips and yet they are a million miles away. When deep inside your soul moans with agony, and your heart actually aches. You want to demand answers. I have found myself begging on my knees phyically that God would answer my prayer, and when he doesn't. I have found myself screaming at him, asking him WHY? A womens heart is a Strong, fearless, fragile, and hard to understand. Deep inside the being that God created, there is a need to be a mother, a need to love, cherish and a deep sense of mothers instinct within me. I am searching for a way so that I don't have to hurt any more. I am searching and coming up empty with ways to escape it. When there is nothing that seems to make sense, where is the rational reasoning behind doing anything. I find myself, in my own dream world, where babies live, and breathe, where my arms are filled and my husband has a smile on his face, and my family is happy again. I am searching for a way to reach my dreams, and if I can't; a reason, to dream something else.
Still searching............
